I Am Glad We...

A wonderful saying I heard years ago is that "Life is not a problem to be solved, it's an adventure to be lived". I think that is easy to lose track of when you come from a culture of striving. The good news is that culture encourages you to be your best self. The down side is that you can get so caught up in thoughts of what you should be, or could have done done better you forget about what it is you have done and do well.

Brian and I, as a team have done and continue to do some things well. When I look back on these past nine years together, six years married I am glad we:


  • Stuck it out in a often trying first year of marriage. Brian lost his job for 11 months and was involved in a court battle against the mayor himself for his team at City Hall and won. It is was a political and personal victory, big time but it was very difficult for us. I changed jobs in that year and for one of the rare times in my life had some significant health issues from not one but two antibiotic reactions that all started with dental work. One morning, exhausted and fed up I realized I was actually contemplating leaving-for good. Instead, I looked at Brian and said "I love you to pieces, but if we can't find a better way to live together now I need to get an apartment until we do". We looked at each other a moment, he cancelled his day and I called in to work. We spent the entire day talking, and talking some more. I decided that very day I was truly in it for keeps. Vows - and love are real. 

  • Had a wedding. Yes, we could have done some courthouse thing but expense be damned, I will always be glad we did a splashy fun over priced thing. Life will rarely be as good as drinking great wine and eating fabulous food at a table full of great friends and heading up to your five room fountain view suite after taking vows at one of the most beautiful canyons in the world. 

  • I am glad we have not put stuff off. Brian retired when he wanted to, at 64. We got our first dog together instead of "waiting until (fill in the blank)". We have not just sat and thought about stuff - we have acted on the things we wanted to do and be together and individually. None of us has all the time in the world. I am glad we have not gotten caught in the delayed gratification/procrastination odd combo of laziness and killjoy thinking that is easy to caught up on in life.

  • Have said "I love you" nearly every day. We argue, we annoy each other just like any (honest) pair. We don't forget the love though. Ever.

As the song goes, in the end only kindness matters. 

Comments

  1. UnknownAugust 14, 2016 at 9:51 AM

    Thank you for writing inspirational insights during a challenging time. You are a wonderful person and I am enjoying reading about your relationship with Brian.

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownAugust 14, 2016 at 2:49 PM

    Thanks John. Hugs :)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Life and Friends

Last Sunday we went to the Vikings game. That was pretty cool and also a little emotional. Brian's dad was a huge football fan who had season tickets all the time. Brian, his dad and his brother were all always big Vikings fans. Brian talked about going to the old Met Stadium for the first time as a kid and here he was in this big beautiful new shiny thing. Yes, I laughed they sure gave us one hellava stadium for all those tax dollars spent. I loved it too though, the place is amazing, the game was a Vikings mega victory, the fans were so much fun too. Brian said something, just one thing that day that reminded me of our situation: "I am glad I lived to see this". I teared up a little but quickly sucked it back up. I can't "hang the crepe" now. Stay in the moment, it's the only place any of us really live. Besides, we don't know if we will be seeing games for years to come, or not. We truly do not know that and never did. You can't fight much ab...
Read more

Clinic - Progress Report

We went to the ALS clinic on Thursday. Brian has good lung capacity with no significant decline. It was 96% last visit, now six weeks later at 95%. There is little to no progression of the weakness in muscles at this time. Brian does complain of tiring more easily, but other than that pretty much where he was six weeks ago. The Doctor states that his progression thus far is slow/average and that he thinks Brian will be on his feet for a "long" time (that is long in ALS time, which mean may just maybe one year plus of walking). We went over some safety things, like getting a bath chair for those time he has done a little too much and might feel wobbly in the shower. So that's good. He is also going to modify his exercise routine and get more into something called adaptive yoga. Cool. It was all good news, good for ALS. It was also for both of us a tough 3 hours. W did spend that long talking to nurses and PT and OT and folks from the ALS and MDA Societies. Dr. Walk and ...
Read more

Six Months Out

So here we are six months post diagnosis. Life continues. We have great days, lousy days, medium days. Then again, didn't we always have those, just in a different way. Work is super busy, but I think I am managing it much better. I am going to be dead bang honest and say I am SO glad the holidays are done. I felt better on January 2nd than I had in awhile. Holidays are like that, you sit and compare one year to the next, you think of future years and what they might look like. It is a more difficult time to just be in the present. Brian is now doing pool therapy, adaptive yoga therapy. He still does way more around the house than he should probably do but I give my opinion and leave him to be who he is. I encourage him to pace his activity, eat more, etc and I think he usually does pretty well with the self care. I also think it is pretty important that I NOT become a den Mommy. There is a acronym you will hear in the ALS Community, being a "CALS", that is a Caregive...
Read more